On Good Friday last week, my church friends and I went to see the new, internationally acclaimed Indonesian action film,
The Raid: Redemption. This blog entry, despite of its title, is not meant to review the movie. Then again, I would not want to be spoiling any juice to anyone who is planning to see it.
Following the movie, we made our way to a nearby bubble tea place to calm down the mood after such a ________ (fill in the blank) movie.
The clock already struck past 12 when we decided to end our exuberant rendezvous. In the middle of our conversation about this behind-kicking movie as we were stepping outside onto the walkway, a mid-age lady came to approach us. It was a particularly cold night in April (thanks to Canada's obscure weather changes). Her voice slightly stammered when she asked us if we had any change to spare. Here is where the controversy may surface to some of you.
I'm not one to easily give change to homeless people because I don't know what they would turn the money into. However, are we still right to judge them for that? Second, opening my wallet in public, especially in front of a homeless person who is begging for change was and is never my favourite thing to do. My mind would generate cynical thoughts and convince my consideration to believe that this pitiful solicitation is a solely staged attempt to mug an innocent passerby like me. Please. Are we still right to judge them on this?
That night was different. I was different. When the person came to us for change, one of my friends was the first one to react. He reached into his pocket and gave her what she wanted. Initially, I was hesitant as to whether I should do the same. From what I could remember, I had used up all of my coins to buy food the few days prior. But instead, I dug into my purse, took out my gigantic red wallet and peered into it. I detected a $5, $10, and $20 bill before slipping the $10 into her hand. As I was handing it to her, I challenged my friends aloud – in Indonesian, of course – to pray for her together with me. None of them budged. They all stood motionlessly while staring at me in pure confusion. Knowing that I was the only one who was up for this, I gathered the remaining courage in my system and asked her if she would like to be prayed for. Much to our relief, she gladly accepted the offer! And so the prayer team, which consisted of me, JT, and his brother
Justin, went ahead and did our thing. Her name was Shanna (spelling is likely to be wrong).
A fairly similar occurrence happened 2 years ago in 2010, as I was leaving the Indonesian Consulate building. Everything went down comparably accurate, except their names (the other person's name was Stella – read her story
here), location of the incident, and the amount of $$ being given. JT half-jokingly suggested that they could be the same person, but I do not reckon they are. Even if they were, she must have gone through a major plastic surgery to change her looks.
When it was over, I wondered how two very similar incidents could happen to me within the span of less than 2 years. I told myself I could have given her the $20 bill instead. I mean, if she really
were to use the money for purposes other than those alongside food and/or clothing, so what? We're feeding her poison? I realized it is not the value, but the thought that counts – and not anybody else's thoughts, but our own. My thought says so long as she could afford to buy something to keep her stomach full throughout a cold spring night, it would not matter how much money we give her. If she did not wish to spend the money on these things, but rather on something detrimental to her health, who are we to judge? We did not know this. We would not be able to assume or deem our irresolute assumptions to be correct without a basis of fixed certainty. The least we could do is to keep our positive thoughts out of the gutter.
I am not trying to go against the gospel of Matthew – precisely
Matt 6:3-4, which reads, "But when you give to the needy, do not let your left hand know what your right hand is doing..." This post is simply a reminder and encouragement to all of us who often have second thoughts when making decisions. I have learned that some actions do not require any further thoughts. Just do what you have to – and surely, do so wisely. The reason why I believe this is because wisdom does not always equal to prolonged judgment. On the contrary, sometimes the more you think, the greater the chances that logistical rationalization would defeat preliminary thoughts, which could have well flourished out of your inherent wisdom. Like many of you, my faith in humanity is not lost. We could see that altruism still very well exists in our world and all around us if we would only look deeper.
I am thankful for Shanna. I am thankful that she came to us in her helpless state, humbly asking for a spare of change, regardless of what she was intending to spend it on. Most importantly, I am thankful that we had the opportunity to pray for her, with her. She was very kind and open-hearted. It undoubtedly is nice to meet people who are not hostile toward Christians. I pray that she would always remember how much she is loved; no matter what state of her life she is in – God is always on her side. And I pray that her brief encounter with us has introduced her to a path, which will lead her to God's promised destination that is eternal salvation.
With lots o' love,
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