Before I get ready for school, I feel burdened to post something to share with my readers. Lately, for these past few weeks, even for the last couple of months, I've been idle. Not only from my blog, but also from God. My daily devotions were becoming an obligation instead of a delighted routine I look forward to every single day. It wasn't just at home; even at church I felt His absence. You would know when He was far from you. You would. Imagine.. going to church to feel God's presence, but you come home feeling as empty as you went. Tell me how vain it must have been.
I know I'm being brutally honest in telling you this, but all of us must face it. In this life, nothing is always sugary sweet and smooth. Even the greatest people go through difficult situations and some of them may even fall into deep misery. Nevertheless, we must keep on moving forth in spite of the circumstances. The term "giving up" isn't listed in our dictionary.
What I've learned from this is our God is SO good. Indescribably good. He is loving and compassionate. He could've taken my life before I confessed my sins to him, but he didn't. He has let me live to this very day. I give him thanks and praise for every breath that I take.
Actually, one of the reasons for my indolence was caused by fear. Fear of adhering to His will. I was afraid he would withdraw from me what I loved most. It's happened to me more than once in such a brief time; I was in massive depression. It's very ironic, since I keep saying this and that about obeying and completely relying on Him. Yet I am struggling to overcome the same obstacle. I was not lying. But I didn't know how difficult it is to do until I fully experienced it myself.
It made me realize I was being selfish, egotistical, greedy; only caring about MY needs, MY wants.. ALL mine. When you come to think about it, when was the last time you did something good for God? It doesn't have to be amazing.. just good.
This wouldn't be so hard to do if you had nothing you wanted to retain; if everything was going satisfactorily 'according to plan'. So when the time comes, you take a step back and hesitate on the decision you have made. "Wait... you're telling me to do what, God? There's no way I'd give that up. No way."
He gave us His Son. His Treasure. Himself.
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| Image from Google Images |
Here is a verse that I found during my morning devotion:
"What is more, I consider everything a loss compared to the surpassing greatness of knowing Christ Jesus my Lord, for whose sake I have lost all things. I consider them rubbish, that I may gain Christ."
~ Philippians 3:8
Paul is such a great coach. I admire his faith and loyalty in Jesus Christ. Despite how cruel and nasty of a sinner he was - condemning all Christians in his time - he was one of Jesus's most influential later apostles.
It's truly remarkable how one simple verse could change the way I fix my mindset. I was reminded of how beautiful His sacrifice was, and the fact that He, as my father, knows what's best for me. He has made everything/one to be just as good as He is. He has planned my life for my benefits. My desires, my demands, are nothing compared to what He has prepared.
You may know what to do, but He knows better. The best. 1 Thessalonians 5:17 says, "Pray continually." I hope all of you had a great Thanksgiving. I definitely have loads to be thankful for!
Much love,
Hazel
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