RQ: Random Quote #32

"Life, like art, is daring, unapologetic, fearless. It is complex, intricate, and mysterious – a riddle only its creator can solve."

- HTL

Gentle and quiet spirit??

I should already be deep in my sleep instead of writing this post, but I thought I would get it over with while it's still fresh in my mind.

OK.

I WILL SHUT UP.
From now own, I won't say anything unless it's necessary.

It's yet another one of my "slip-ups", I suppose. I reckon if I continue with this, it might just ruin my life. I don't know what it is with me, but sometimes I can't seem to keep my trap shut. I really wonder if this really is what constitutes my lack of friends. I can't help it! I don't know how!

In the midst of my remorse, I was reminded of this verse:
"Do not let your adornment be merely outward—arranging the hair, wearing gold, or putting on fine apparel— rather let it be the hidden person of the heart, with the incorruptible beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is very precious in the sight of God."

Ha, yes, both the things I am not.

I am neither gentle, nor am I the slightest bit quiet.. at least not around my friends/the people I'm familiar with. At group meetings, I do not hesitate to express my opinion, without thinking twice. In daily conversations, I do not hesitate to ask rash questions and/or make unnecessary remarks without thinking thrice. I hate not being able to be quiet. I hate making stupid comments and asking silly questions. I hate acting smart when in reality, I'm making myself look dumber by the second.

I resorted to my old Facebook posts when I would strike up status conversations with other people and I thought how freaking, FREAKING stoooopid I was back then! I mean, I still feel that way now at times when I'm usually too late to realize the damage has been done. I wanted to act smart and strong when I really wasn't.

Beauty is skin deep. Cliche, but it's probably true. It doesn't matter whether you adorn yourself with jewellery, nice clothing, or even exceptional intelligence – it's the insides that count. I've been too proud with myself. Pride has driven me deeper into the gutter. I've lost good friends, my relationships have been strained, and keeping up with it would lead me into more trouble. I don't know how many people I have hurt through my actions, and how much beeswax about other people I have probed into.
If you happen to have witnessed this careless and shameful endeavour of mine, I AM SORRY. And if you happen to be the one(s) I've hurt, I apologize from the bottom of my heart.

There are still a few things on which I need more clarification, but what I DO know is that this is NOT my character. It's not who I really am. I am not this kind of person. The aforementioned behaviour is simply a product of my experiences – what I have been through in life. I used to vehemently refuse to be viewed as a weak person, especially since I am a woman. No, I am not a feminist. But I hated the sexist and gender stereotypes people make when specifically comparing men and women. The remarks I've heard, seen, and taken in are the catalyst that has "helped" me in developing this new persona, which I am indubitably starting to despise.

But I concur.

I, as a woman, should assume the quiet bench. Why? Because it's the right darn thing to do. No, it's not because women are weak, but it is our ability to stay quiet in the midst of turmoil that determines our power.
Listen more, talk less.

A dear lady by the name of Eleanor Roosevelt once said, "No one can make you feel inferior without your consent."
Do as you will with this quote, but I have my own piece of mind. You are who you think you are and you don't need to justify it with mere talks. You need only prove yourself TO yourself. Real ladies don't show off. Real ladies exude. I think that's all it takes to prove who you really are.

>>Seriously, I make too many promises on my blog that I don't even remember writing.<<

Let us all remind each other how important it is to be who we are without trying too much. While you reflect upon this post, it's time for me to get back on the books.

Remember, read a lot, listen carefully, and speak only when necessary.


Cheers,

RQ: Random Quote #31

"We won't know where we stand until we fall to know where we fail."

- HTL 

Taken from this post**

RQ: Random Quote #30

"Failure is not the absence of success, but the lack of attempt." 

- HTL

RQ: Random Quote #29

About responsibility

"Much is expected from those to whom much is given."

– C.S. Lewis, Mere Christianity 

RQ: Random Quote #28

"Trust is buildable, respect is often earned, and love is always a choice."

- HTL 

RQ: Random Quote #27

"If you give up every time you don't achieve the immediate gain you want, you're just guaranteeing that the worst is going to happen."  

– Noam Chomsky, Imperial Ambitions (on abolitionism)

Oscar Wilde once said...

"It is what you read when you don't have to that determines what you will be when you can't help it." 

– Oscar Wilde

These are the books I'm going to start reading interchangeably:

• "Midnight's Children" by Salman Rushdie

• "It's Not an All Night Fair" by Pramoedya Ananta Toer

• "Imperial Ambitions: Conversations on the Post-9/11 World" by Noam Chomsky

If any of you have ever read any of the above books, feel free to share with me, as this is my first time exploring the works of the aforementioned authors!


From my love of reading to yours,

RQ: Random Quote #26

"Language is courage: the ability to conceive a thought, to speak it, and by doing so to make it true." 

– Salman Rushdie, The Satanic Verses

RQ: Random Quote #25

"I need a little shopping mistake to help me carry on."

- HTL

**Procured in a dream**

RQ: Random Quote #24

"Never limit yourself to the impossible."

On another note, HAPPY APRIL FOOL'S DAY!! :-)

RQ: Random Quote #23

"When a thing has to be attempted, one must never think about possibility or impossibility."

- C.S. Lewis

Love doesn't need a reason

Image from weheartit.com, personally edited

Why should we need a reason to love? To point out explanations for why we do is called calculating. Love has no numbers. Love is wordless and deprived of rationality. Love imbues feelings, love also creates emotions. But love itself, is neither a feeling nor emotion. Love goes beyond what one feels, but love does not surpass what one could not perceive. Love is a mystery waiting to be deciphered. Love makes no sense with reasons it does not have.




P.S. Happy Leap Year Day! And happy birthday to those whose birth date is today :-).

RQ: Random Quote #22

"Love is bolder than all fears."

- HTL 

HAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY :-)

Image background courtesy of its respective author(s). Found on Google Images.

No hope is ever lost when there is love.

RQ: Random Quote #21

"To any regret, there is another chance. To every disappointment, there is a new hope. To every failure, there is imminent success. To all problems, there are correspondent solutions. To every defeat, there is an impending victory. Keep striving until you achieve your goals. Rule of thumb: never settle for less."

- HTL

Idealism & Realism

Image from Flickr, personally edited. No copyright infringement intended.

To be an idealist is to reach for the stars. However, idealists often become lost in their dreams, and forget the real world around them; and as a result can acquire an out-of-touch aura about them. Realists on the other hand are more grounded in reality (hence the name), and as a result are often better prepared to deal with [imperfectionism]. However, as they focus too much on reality, they often aim lower than can be reached, only aiming for what can be reached with assurance, and as a result often miss out on the few times humanity does reach excellence.

- Taken from: http://kingswayfalcon.tripod.com/writings/idealismvsrealism.html


So, which one are YOU?

RQ: Random Quote #20

"I want to live without regrets, love without fear, and laugh without limits."

- HTL

Best friends

"A friend is a person with whom I may be sincere. Before him I may think aloud. I am arrived at last in the presence of a man so real and equal, that I may drop even those undermost garments of dissimulation, courtesy, and second thought, which men never put off, and may deal with him with the simplicity and wholeness with which one chemical atom meets another."

– Ralph Waldo Emerson

INDONESIA: Mission Trip 2011 Day IV (Warning: picture heavy)

Muneng, Central Java

May 24, 2011

We left for Muneng around 7 AM today. From what I was told, the village at which we are staying is located behind Mount Merapi. We took a few pictures along the way as we were reaching to the top. We were able to see Mount Merapi from a good distance.

The mission crew + Mama Damaris in the van

Love hurts?

Hurting has always been an inherent part of loving. What's ironic is they're inseparable – I mean, hurting and loving.

That is simply how things work in life.
We cannot love without hurting, and it is impossible to be loved without being hurt in the process.
What matters is not how much we love and get hurt, but how much we can TRY to withstand both facets and actually DO withstand them regardless of the season.

It's undeniable that love and hurt are interdependent. When love is present, pain is non-elusive. Just as fire and heat, they go hand-in-hand. When fire burns, the heat hurts. But what happens when you've acclimated?

Mother Teresa once said, "... if you love until it hurts, there can be no more hurt, only more love." In other words, what happens when we make love a routine? What happens when we've become accustomed to loving? Will we still feel the hurt?

I'd say yes, however, it won't be as harsh as the first experience. In the end, it's hurt that makes love stronger. When a knife is honed on a regular basis, it will indubitably be sharper each time. Love is a knife that gets refined by the sharpening hurt.

I would deem it implausible to love without hurting. To love is to be vulnerable to all kinds of pain. To love without pain is unthinkable. Love hurts. But that's just the way it is.



From a girl whose love has been hurt,
H.